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Arbitary Obsessionist's Blog : Ambition is redundant. In life, mission is everything.

Archive for the ‘Open Letters’ Category

Lewis Hamilton’s SECRET LETTER to Barack Obama!!

with 6 comments

Hello Mr. Obama,

Congratulations on your victory Mr. Obama. Though I was really sad for Sarah Palin (read eye candy!!) loosing out on Vice Prez, I am happy that you have become the most powerful person of the planet. Americans now atleast have someone to show off their dislike for racism. But hey, you know me..isn’t it??

I am Lewis. Lewis Hamilton.

An F1 driver!! A world champion!! Shit…how stupid of me. You Americans don’t know that F1 stands for Formula 1…(I’ll remember it the next time). And just to prompt you to further read my letter, have a look at the picture below….I even resemble you!! OMG !!

Obama-Lewis-Barack-Hamliton

But unlike you, I had to work really hard for my world championship. That Massa guy, almost had it this time. Had it not been for Toyota’s Timo Glock, I would have again lost it by 1 point. God bless Timo. And the funny part is, that last year, I lost the world championship by 1 point (I know, its really sad) and this year, I won it by 1 point. But I do feel bad for Massa. The guy must be really frustrated. This time last year Felipe Massa was playing the supporting role as Ferrari team mate Kimi Raikkonen took the 2007 drivers’ championship. On Sunday at Interlagos the roles were reversed, Massa almost snatched it from me. I swear, Massa is no longer the Ferrari number 2. He is now as strong as Kimi.

And just read what Massa had to say after the race –

“It was an exciting day. We did everything to perfection and we almost managed to pull it off. Then, as I crossed the line, race engineer Rob Smedley told me that Hamilton had finished fifth and therefore he took the title by one point. Sport is like this and one has to accept that. Congratulations to Lewis: whoever gets the most points deserves the title.”

Now that’s a true gentleman. Just like us…the Britishers. Oops…Massa is a Brazilian (American). 😉

But your job is not as adrenaline pumping as mine. You have 4 years to run your country. I just have some hours to run a good race. Talking of adrenaline, how can I forget Fernando Alonso? The Spanish Bull overflowing with adrenaline. I am 100% sure that this guy is going to win the next year’s championship and have me kneeling down in front of him. But lets be a bit optimistic and cross the bridge when it comes.

So what about Palin? Can’t you persuade or force her to join you as a democrat? I swear you will have a lot of glamour in your armory. And we all know the power of glamour. 🙂 And please, do something about the economic mess that your predecessor George Bush has created. I am no expert in economy but theses guys from BBC just keep on saying that world is in a recession, USA’s economy has come to an end and ‘Queen knows what not’.

What else…?? I think I will now spend some more time with my new girlfriend and my autobiography. I have to complete it soon or I’ll become too old.

Till then, cheers to ‘our colored victory.’

Yours

Lewis

_______________

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An open letter to Fernando Alonso

with one comment

fabest

Hi Fernando,

It would be very stupid to ask you about you well being. I know you are not good right now. And its the Renault’s useless shit-on-wheels that is troubling you this year. But, how could you sign them on for 1 more year? You should have waited a bit more to see if they are getting any better or may be some other team might be interested in you.

Never mind. The point is that you have been the world champion twice. But if I did not tell those watching the race about your previous victories, your current form won’t prove your heroics at all. So that’s a serious problem for you dude. But now my confessions to you. I always was and will remain a big fan of Schumi. Michael was literally a rule changer. I don’t think that anyone was ever, in sporting history of any sports, was so instrumental in getting the rules changed, just because, he was too good for others!! But Michael is not in game anymore. Lucky you. So here comes my next confession. You are the best that we currently have in all the drivers. Your aggression of Spanish Bull, your maneuvers with terrible Renaults, your moving up the ranks having started at the back of the grid, are all awesome. So why am I telling you all this? Because I want someone deserving to win the championships. And for that you just need 2 things. First is a good car. A driver is not complete in himself. A car and driver are one unit. So find your better half and do it soon. Secondly, you should learn from this guy,…..what is his name….lemme see… yes….. Kimi ‘I AM ICE COLD’ Raikkonen. I am sure you might have heard about him. 😉 Aggression does not always pay. Just see how cool this Kimi man is? And did you see that last year when he won the championship from you and Lewis, he did not even celebrate too much. I know that you are more aggressive while you are unconscious, than he is in his F1 car. But still, you need to take some yoga classes or ice pack treatments from him to cool yourself down. So won’t I suggest some lessons from Lewis Hamilton. No. Never. You are far better than he is.

I know you secretly desire to join the ranks of Ferrari. Oh come on… its not a surprise find by me. I know your ‘BULL’ish instinct and I am not color blind that I could not notice that Ferrari is you favorite or most ‘hated’ color. But dude, there will be certain problems for you at Ferrari. You are a hot tempered man and so is the Italian team. And sooner or later, Schumi will start running the team. And its very obvious that you don’t want to answer to Schumi, do you? So be cool and don’t take your decisions with your hot head. You can always contact me for further directions.

And yes…don’t worry if you don’t make any significant contribution to the first night GP at Singapore. I am not expecting anything with you, in that SHIT Renault.

Be brave

A Ferrari Fan