Arbitary Obsessionist's Blog : Ambition is redundant. In life, mission is everything.

R&D on R&D (Relationships & Disappointments) – A guest post

with 17 comments

Here I am writing a post for Dev. It is an honour I must say, writing the 100th post. Thanks Dev. I am clueless as to what I’m going to write and I’m sure most of you following the blog would find it monotonous and wonder where he is? But please bear with me, because if I don’t write this, I might disappoint my dearest childhood buddy.

Talking of relationships and disappointments attached to them, most of us feel sad and demented when one of the closest person to us leaves us or drifts away. There is nothing wrong with it and rather, it is quite an obvious feeling. But it’s my feeling that every relationship teaches us something. Something good. No matter how badly it ended. Everyone comes in our life for a reason. They are there with us when we need them the most in our life.

Maybe to share our feelings because we were lonely, to cheer us up or boost up our spirits when we did not believe in ourselves and to lend us a shoulder when we were down and needed a friend. But the mistake we make is that, we want to hold them for life. This is the point when things start to deteriorate. This is indeed the point, when relationships move from ‘not-expecting-anything-in-return’ state to the ones where both sides of the relationships sound like, ‘I-expect-something-from-you’.

People come and go but what remains are the memories that will last with us forever. It’s my personal belief that there is no point in regretting anything in life. It’s always good to listen to everyone, but when the time comes to take the decision, its best to take your own decisions and if something goes wrong then we shall have only ourselves to blame, instead of those who were ‘supposedly’ expected to be influential in our decision making. 

Shifting the focus to the darker and troubled side of relationships – read broken ones, we should look back and smile. Yes. We should smile. It’s because that was the best time, we could have spent with that person at that point in our life. With every bad relationship that ended on a sour note, we should be observant enough to recognise the hidden lesson for the future. And once we are able to understand that, we can be sure that we are not all that vulnerable as we used to be. We can judge people by their behaviour and decide whom to associate with and whom to stay away from. And one of the biggest realisations, that comes out from evolving with the relationships is that, we realise that we should not care for what people say about us. It’s because I believe in living life for myself and for people close to me and not for the society that “supposedly” I should be serving.

Experiences when passed through prisms of life manifest themselves in various human emotions, which are essential to make our personal rainbows colourful and I feel that I am blessed, that God has provided me diverse situations, which have enriched my life. Now I have the power as well as wisdom to appreciate life with all its pitfalls.

Neha K.


17 Responses

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  1. Neha your words seem so true and deep… very nicely expressed.

    so 100th post.. congrats Dev.


    July 19, 2009 at 3:49 pm

  2. 100th post congratulations Dev!!! This one was very well written!


    July 19, 2009 at 7:59 pm

  3. Congrats on the 100th post!

    “Experiences when passed through prisms of life manifest themselves in various human emotions, which are essential to make our personal rainbows colourful,” nicely expressed!


    July 19, 2009 at 8:57 pm

  4. That is all you need to know about life to be happy. 🙂


    July 20, 2009 at 12:33 am

  5. I too agree to “every relationship teaches us something, no matter how badly they ended”

    congrates Dev on the 100th post 🙂


    July 20, 2009 at 1:09 pm

  6. there are certain things that we all know and somewhat have at the back of our minds ….. but often or i must say mostly we forget these things and thoughts when were alone or upset ….. its very essential for us to keep this thought in our mind and possibly refer to it when were upset ….. im sure well learn something everytime were upset then …… well ….. thanks neha for giving me an oppurtunity to learn about myself when im upset …..

    abhinav bhagat

    July 21, 2009 at 12:33 am

  7. @Neha K.
    Thanks neha…thanks for enlightening us all in my 100th post.


    Thanks oorja..the words were really impressive.

    thank you.. 🙂

    Thanks 🙂

    Very true dude…

    That is one of the few ultimate realizations that we need to realize.

    @abhinav bhagat
    I agree with you man…its always that we start realizing a lot of things, when we are upset.


    July 22, 2009 at 10:22 am

  8. well written sweety.. all through our journey (read: life) we meet people who touch our hearts in someway..teaching us something new to add on to our list of experiences..
    every relationship has some memories attached to u perceive it and take it forward, is your decision..

    i could’nt agree with you more neha…experience speaks 🙂


    July 22, 2009 at 1:20 pm

  9. thnx evry1.. thnx fr appreciatin d thots..

    n thnx dev fr lettin me write d 100th 🙂 .. it sure means a lot..

    yes d perception makes all d difference.. n experience speaks fr sure 😉 doesnt it sweets..

    neha kotwal

    July 23, 2009 at 12:35 am

  10. Hi Neha, when i was reading your thoughts, it was as if just if I was reliving a part of my past, Time does have a strange way of showing you that your life isn’t just what you intend it to be, their is more to it, and moving on with the right message ahead ,with what ever may come to you and which ever way good or bad ..the main thing is.. One shouldn’t forget those who are important to you and more importantly one shouldn’t forget who YOU are inside, Good going I totally agree and stand by what you wrote here. My wishes for your great future, in writing!!


    July 23, 2009 at 12:50 am

  11. thats a nice post neha …. full of wisdom n truth n i gues anyone whose in a relationship will get some useful tips from it and those out of it will get some learning … so gud job girl and congrats to u n ur friend for the 100th post …… 🙂


    July 23, 2009 at 2:08 pm

  12. Deep thought…and I just hope, those who will read this post will consider the fact seriously “its best to take your own decisions and if something goes wrong then we shall have only ourselves to blame”


    July 23, 2009 at 2:15 pm

  13. Hi Neha,
    It was awesome reading post of yours, believe me only person who is a sufferer and who have successfully overcome this dilemma could express his thoughts this way. Moving on to the right thing is always in our hands but our heart stops us many times…so if we become little kind towards our heart and let head overcome the situation, then I guess nothing has lost coz it was never yours 🙂 Well, this is not the end..!

    All the Best Sweets…


    July 23, 2009 at 2:19 pm

  14. Well I loved the title for sure 😀 “R&D”….


    July 28, 2009 at 1:38 pm

  15. Also, these R&Ds sometimes inadvertently help you emerge as a stronger and better person in life 🙂


    July 28, 2009 at 1:54 pm

  16. Nehs, you have not disappointed Dev and us and it was not monotonous. I loved the new full form of R&D very much.

    Vikas Gupta

    August 17, 2009 at 7:59 am

  17. Neha…..thnx……4 writtin wat u wrote.
    It surely will help.

    N congs Dev…..


    October 30, 2009 at 3:37 pm

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