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Arbitary Obsessionist's Blog : Ambition is redundant. In life, mission is everything.

12:22 – Story of a very close friend

with 46 comments

12:22 – Story of a very close friend

I was at a very secluded corner of a street and the clock was at 12:22am. I was, then, at that place, to meet an old friend of mine. I had not forgotten him, but he was also not in my active memory. At that very moment, I saw him coming towards me. He was as usual, ‘as he always was.’
Half of his face was illuminated with an orang-ish light from the nearest streetlamp. He took a look at his watch and gave me a smile. His smile said it all. It was a smile that had nothing to hide or to escape.

“The winter of love was 2 years ago.” – he said.

“What??” …I wanted to say. But somehow, I couldn’t.
It seemed that he, after all the past years, had enough faith on me to tell me about his life’s very dark moments. And I, didn’t have enough courage to stop him from doing so.

“You know what 12-22 means to me?”
“It has nothing to do with anyone except me. Not even her.” – he said.

I said – “Maybe it is symbolic of the month and the day of…”

He smiled…as if saying, “how could you know it man!”

He continued with his story. It was not the series of events that were unique or had any significance. Rather, it was his intensity, his possessiveness of the events he was involved in, that made a statement.

I started to feel what he wanted me to feel.

He was of the very few I knew, who had an amazing amount of will power, and could not ‘not try.’ But here, he seemed like the image of a bridge surrounded by fog. Freedom seemed elusive. He was clouded, but he was always there, within his own firm grasp.

“It was getting too much for me. I had to tell her everything.” – he said.
“And I did.”

“I told her everything. I lost myself completely. For the first time in my life, I surrendered to someone unconditionally and completely. I was at her complete mercy. My love was my response to the highest values. All of which were embodied by her. And then, it was all upto her. And…”

He broke down.
I knew what the rest of the story was.

It was very unusual for me to see him cry. He was the only person, who knew that suffering was not our natural fate. And as if, he read my mind, he said –

“It is not that I don’t suffer. It is that I know the unimportance of suffering. It did hurt me a lot and SHATTERED seems to be the only word that could have described me at that point.”

But I knew, the extreme pain that my friend had experienced was not to be his reason for stopping. Atleast, I know him to an extent that, the feelings he personified, showed that he was totally destroyed at that juncture of his life. But it was obvious that he would be trying to convince his love once again.

“I could not talk to her again as it would have been very uncomfortable for both of us. So I wrote down everything I had to say and….. and she even replied back!”

“Her denial had destroyed me. But her response to my mail gave me back my life.”

I thought that this story was now going to turn into one with a happy end.
But my friend broke my confidence then and there.

“It is only when you fall flat on your back, in the darkest of nights, that you can see all the stars shining in their full and scintillating glory.”

“Her reply was short and crisp. With her reply she made clear the value she gave to my feelings. And I knew, though it seems very unobvious that – I had made a wrong choice.”

“Her reply told me, what value people give to your feelings, if they don’t reciprocate it.”

“Her reply told me, what great fortune it was for someone to find his soulmate. And even greater fortune, if that soulmate felt the same.”

I was left speechless. My heart was crying for my friend. My mind was totally paralyzed.
For a few minutes, we both could say nothing. He stared away into the darkness of the night and I stared at his shadow. It seemed that his shadow was also crying.

Then I asked him about the current situation.

“I hate her.” – was his reply.

I couldn’t believe my ears. Now here was a guy, who was deeply in love with a girl, who never gave a damn to what he felt. He was ready to do anything for her and now he say….

He explained –

“You know what…it was really very close to my heart when I told her about my feelings. You only share feelings when you have faith. Faith on powers beyond our control. I had never before realized what love felt like. For me, she gave the meaning to love.
But….
But now I hate her.
She is the only one I have ever hated in my entire life.
And I hate her so much because I have never loved anyone so much in my life, nor I ever will.”

Time was stuck at 12:22 for both of us.

Somebody very aptly said – “Somebody has to make a sacrifice everytime a decision is taken”
…and this time…..my friend made it.

…and I know what his hatred meant.

Oh!
You must be wondering, who was my friend???

But does it make any difference to anyone expect me?

I know, it does not… 😉

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Written by Dev

December 29, 2007 at 6:44 am

46 Responses

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  1. good DEV good..u hv mastered the art ..nd u know which art i am referring to..

    gaurav

    December 29, 2007 at 9:07 am

  2. Nice story. Dropped by randomly.

    But don’t you think that if the girl wasn’t the one capable to understand his feelings, he should had better preferred to made her do that than starting hating her because she couldn’t. Huh.

    Anyway, that what I thought after reading this story!

    Story is justified, as per my view, only if girl didn’t want to understand him…intentionally.

    nitesh

    January 18, 2008 at 2:37 am

  3. A very poignant piece DEV.
    One day that girl would rot in hell, trust me..

    Nitesh

    January 23, 2008 at 5:40 pm

  4. This really is a very soulful and emotionally moving story and one can easily perceive but hardly feel the trauma through which ur freind has gone.Its rightly said tht one of the most painful things in life is when ur love says she doesnt love u…
    Dev this close freind of urs is also my one of the closest freinds.
    And I exactly know hw deeply he loved HER…bt as it was, his presumed lovestory had a very tragic end, to say the least..she was decent in the most indecent way!!
    Wel as it is said that everything is for good,I hope that this incident may have brought some good changes in the friend n he becomes tougher…..
    U have nicely penned his story.
    Well Done!!!

    abhinav

    January 30, 2008 at 2:19 pm

  5. AWESOME STUFF dev!!! but i sure wud like to kno who was d fren ;)..

    neha

    April 6, 2008 at 11:40 am

  6. dont knw wat to say abt ur frendz story…bt d way u penned the feelings, does make me feel dat itz ur story…watever…its nice

    Anonymous

    May 19, 2008 at 11:51 am

  7. I think your friend should rot in hell.If he hated her so much later on, where was his true affection ?
    It is not necessary for a woman to bent in front of any man’s feelings.Don’t women have freedom in such matters ?

    Anonymous

    June 10, 2008 at 6:08 pm

  8. I need to write back to all those who have commented here that my friend does seem to have realised by now that ‘you cant get everthing that you want’ in life.

    Author Replies

    June 27, 2008 at 6:54 am

  9. It’s strange that why some men don’t even feel least shame for the way they behave. Any woman who has to face these stalkers, who are in their middle age will vow to it. They are as shameless as I don’t know what. I have seen a few such creatures. Calling them human being is outrageous.

    Anonymous

    August 18, 2008 at 2:09 pm

  10. The real definition of love is to give and never expect anything in return because if love is real it will come back but if does not come back it was never love in the first place.It’s people who don’t know the true meaning of love lament most on absence of love, Whereas people who know the true meaning of love always say that if you love others that is enough, why should one expect any thing in return. I have often heard jilted lovers lament that she or he would have reciprocated just because he or she loved him or her. Really? You loved her because you found her worthy of love, may be she does not feels the same. After all, love is not a generated feeling, its an automatic impulse. This is the way all the relationships should be treated. If you give some thing, and demand some thing in return, you are a fool, you are bound to get immense pain. But if you give some thing, expect return, cherish it if you get it, and walk away with dignity if you don’t get it, then, you are the winner in life.

    bharat b

    August 18, 2008 at 2:10 pm

  11. extremely emotional…..
    i know wot it feels to be turned down….
    i can empathise with you…..
    but god will definitely give ur frnd sumthng better….
    just remember….
    har kisi ko muqammal jahan nahin milta,
    kisi ko zamin, kisi ko asmaan nahin mailta!

    arpita

    August 23, 2008 at 6:21 pm

  12. Though I do not know your close friend personally but I know the girl in your story. I heard that your friend is an already married man with a lovely daughter(a family man ).The trouble of hatredness started when your friend found that the girl in your story was jealous of his wife and he tried all means to shatter the girl’s life by following her wherever she went. He scandalized her and even abused her parents.But even this did not douse the flame of hatredness in his heart. So much of revenge ! Your story not being a real story ( just a drama of your friend) has no meaning.Your friend should actually rot in hell.

    Jyoti

    October 5, 2008 at 8:23 pm

  13. @arpita
    Thank you n I have passed ur best wishes to my friend.

    @Jyoti
    we need to wait till my friend dies, to see if he does rot in hell. And yes, who will check if he is rotting or having a good time in hell?? …either of us will have to die too for it 😉

    Dev

    October 6, 2008 at 12:11 am

  14. @Dev
    Maybe you know the problem of your close friend only and I know the problem of the girl in the story.Who goes to hell can be known from what one does on earth.Anyway thanks for posting my comment.

    Jyoti

    October 6, 2008 at 12:41 pm

  15. I think what Jyoti found about your role in the story as someone who understood the problem of your close friend only, is a correct observation.Why did your friend treat the reply of the girl in a negative way ?(What if a person throws a cricket ball at someone to catch it but gets back a football in return for it ,in that case what should the reciprocation be ? ) . Misunderstanding or inaccuracies leads to hatredness only and finally who has to pay the price ? Anyone can guess it.The girl now became a victim of your friend’s hatredness.And about your role as a “third person” in the story , it is clearly seen in it your bias attitude towards your close friend but that could be understood. Though the girl may not be knowing you nor expecting anything from you, but as you had never bothered to understand her difficulties , you portrayed her in a negative shade and tried to prove your friend as a SHATTERED man. What even if you had written your mixed reactions about the girl without knowing her properly and what if she happens to find out that they were not upto the mark, to whom would she tell her views? Since you have written this story would she not directly confront you rather than your close friend?BTW , is your close friend a godman that the girl should obey him ?

    Shree

    October 12, 2008 at 4:22 am

  16. @Shree..
    Wow Shree, your comment qualifies as a post. Such a comprehensive comment!!
    No, my friend is not a godman, and he never wanted the girl to abide by his rules. Love is about giving independence and not about taking it. And I totally agree with you that misunderstandings are very destructive at times…as in my friend’s case.
    BTW it seems that almost everyone who has commented on my friend’s story is against him. But what everyone is missing here is that it was not my friend who did all the wrong things. His lady love was also to be blamed to an extent. I still have faith in my friend; not because he is my friend; but because he was not entirely wrong.

    Dev

    October 12, 2008 at 1:00 pm

  17. If your friend feels now that he has made a wrong choice and hates her too ,I think he should forget her and move on…Seems like the girl also does not like his interference in her life.Afterall everyone has his/her own likes and dislikes.

    Sanjana

    October 12, 2008 at 6:59 pm

  18. @Sanjana
    “And I hate her so much because I have never loved anyone so much in my life, nor I ever will.”
    I think these words of my friend signify that we only give importance to people who really have a stake in our life, in our inner self, our soul. Now the type of importance may be love or hatred.
    Surrendering oneself completely & unconditionally is something really big Sanjana (if you have ever felt the same for anyone, you will know why).
    The hatred here is not the one we have for our enemies or the people we don’t like. This hatred is actually an aversion that has arises from love.
    With due apologies to you, I don’t think I will try to make you realise anything else, as if you could not understand this “Love Hate” thing in this context, you might not be able to understand whatever I have said till now or was planning to say.

    Dev

    October 13, 2008 at 9:03 am

  19. @Dev
    This girl is also a human being and she can very well understand emotions.Problems starts when somebody unknown like a stranger seeks intimacy with you and interfers in your life without your permission.Whether it is completely and unconditionally is not a question here.Have you ever felt that someone who is unnecessarily poking in your life had been beneficial for you ?What do you call it ?Perhaps you and your close friend are not able to understand this.As you have said it – “misunderstandings are very destructive at times.” , it is quite true and it happens when you do not try to understand nor understood another person’s likes and dislikes and interprets them in an altogether different way causing irrepairable damage to that person.As I know this girl in your story very well , I know how this girl had to suffer a lot due to your friend’s misunderstandings.

    Jyoti

    October 13, 2008 at 2:33 pm

  20. […] Changed Strategy Author:Vinz Calendar Gods Author: Maami Life Through a Window Author: Scorpria Story of a Very Close Friend Author: […]

  21. […] Changed Strategy Author: Vinz Calendar Gods Author: Maami Life Through a Window Author: Scorpria Story of a Very Close Friend Author: Dev Flash Fiction-Last Page Author: Sangeet Flash Fiction-Poor Professor Higgins Author: […]

  22. “Her reply was short and crisp… ” , what was that reply ?

    Vasundhara R

    October 23, 2008 at 5:44 pm

  23. Why is ur frnd forcing this girl to accept him ?…there is no shortage of men on this earth and she can choose the man she likes…who is he to impose his feelings on her ?…If she doesn’t like him and need him ,then let him move out of her life like the way other people normally do in such situation …why is ur frnd so emotional abt it ?Hating her is no solution to this.

    Rahul Sharma

    October 25, 2008 at 6:34 pm

  24. @Dev
    “I have never loved anyone so much in my life, nor I ever will.”…Surrendering oneself completely & unconditionally”.
    Tell your friend to say this to a ‘married woman’ and see how she reciprocates to him.I think the girl is not married.As usual your story indeed shows a man’s behaviour of taking advantage of woman’s single status.

    Aseem

    October 25, 2008 at 8:40 pm

  25. @Vasundhara R
    The short and crisp reply??
    I am sorry I can’t give in all the details. And it is just to protect the privacy of my friend and his love.

    @Rahul Sharma
    My friend never forced a thing onto that girl. Never.
    And he obviously did move out. He did not force the girl to come along with him. As far as the hatred is concerned, we can all have different opinions about this..isn’t it??

    @Aseem
    Oh come on, why will he approach a ‘married woman’..?? Now that was one stupid suggestion.

    Dev

    October 26, 2008 at 1:25 am

  26. @Dev
    Begging for reciprocation from an ‘uninterested unmarried woman’ is another type of stupidity.
    As you have replied to a commentor here-“we can all have different opinions about this.” , I think that is how she gave a reply.

    Aseem

    October 26, 2008 at 10:45 am

  27. Mr.Dev ,
    I think I need not ask you to define what a woman calls ‘forcing ‘.When a woman finds things unacceptable or objectionable from a unknown man and going against her wishes that attitude of a man can be considered as ‘ forcing’.Did ur frnd tried to seek this girl’s intimacy after taking her consent or her permission ? Some women may not like intimacy from strangers (it is true some women do ).Your close frnd is very silent on that point.Now what is meant by saying that he was ready to do anything for her ?Has she ever asked him or wanted anything from him ? If not , then whatever he did or is doing for her is against her wish.Will his interference not then affect her privacy ?Why was he after her for reciprocation? Any decent man will not follow a woman
    like a dog asking for reciprocation.If you say that he has departed from this( I hope you are not lying ), he should withdraw himself completely because there is nothing called as half-withdrawal.

    Rahul Sharma

    November 2, 2008 at 12:33 pm

  28. Strictly No Comments!!!

    falcon

    November 8, 2008 at 6:17 pm

  29. Ur close friend should give proof of his affection for this girl(a mere saying is not enough).Has he done anything gud 4 this girl ?

    Rahul Iyer

    November 9, 2008 at 5:46 pm

  30. @Aseem
    Contrary to your view, I feel that it is much more intelligent to try and persuade ‘uninterested unmarried woman’, rather than any other types 🙂

    @Rahul Sharma
    He was not unknown to her. And it is easier to say that there is no such thing as ‘half withdrawal’, than experiencing this half withdrawal. Its difficult when your mind says something and your heart says something exactly opposite.

    @falcon
    How interesting!!! 😉

    @Rahul Iyer
    What qualifies as ‘gud’ for you??

    Dev

    November 9, 2008 at 5:55 pm

  31. @Dev
    What qualifies as “love” for you or your close friend ?

    Rahul Iyer

    November 9, 2008 at 5:59 pm

  32. There is a strong possibility that your frnd could be a stranger to her.Strangers are definitely unknown ppl.Now how do you deny that?What if your frnd was not able to understand her mind/heart properly ?How can anyone say mind and heart spoke exactly opposite ?

    Rahul Sharma

    November 9, 2008 at 6:15 pm

  33. @Rahul Iyer & Rahul Sharma
    Fact: Both your comments are from the same IP!!
    My Suggestion: Use a proxy server in future. It will help you fool me better 😉

    As far as your questions are concerned, read below-

    Q: Mr. Iyer’s questions??
    A: Check the dictionary. I prefer not to answer fake commentators.

    Q: Mr. Sharma’s questions??
    A: Ask Mr. Iyer. He will answer all your quesries and even tell you why I will not answer your questions.

    Dev

    November 10, 2008 at 12:01 am

  34. @Dev ,
    Rahul Sharma is my “close friend”.Same IP won’t make two ppl same.And may be , you are fond of using proxy server to fool others :)BTW , why didn’t you check out the meaning of ‘gud’ from the dictionary ?

    Rahul Iyer

    November 10, 2008 at 12:11 pm

  35. What seem to be intelligent to you, may appear as a degradable character to someone else…I hope your very close friend is not of that type.My suggestion was just to highlight the point why some men take “uninterested unmarried women” lightly and treat them as their playtoys, but they are just simply scared of playing such tricks on a “married woman”.Hope this girl has neither accepted any gifts from your friend nor eaten his money in any way.There may be several other girls ready to fall for him , why can’t he be after them ?

    Aseem

    November 12, 2008 at 3:27 pm

  36. “And I hate her so much because I have never loved anyone so much in my life, nor I ever will.” He hated her because he couldn’t get her , right ?This is a case of ‘sweet grapes turning sour now’.This woman is not his wife , therefore she will not like his interference in her life.He cannot put his demands like this.

    Sanjana

    November 13, 2008 at 11:54 am

  37. From your story , it seems like your very close friend loves to roam around on the street at midnight , 12:22am !

    Jyoti

    December 12, 2008 at 11:54 pm

  38. Your friend was needlessly persuing the girl, when she did not give a damn to him. This kinda things shud be avoided as it leads to a lot of problems for girls.

    Shalini

    September 10, 2009 at 5:04 pm

  39. The condition of your close friend seems to be very interesting!Quite obvious that he made a WRONG CHOICE.Now what is that utterance-“I hate her” ?Since that season has gone,is he still stalking her without beautiful & hopefull intentions???

    —Anamika

    Anamika

    April 18, 2010 at 2:08 pm

  40. Following a girl who is not compatible with your friend should have been avoided by him.Her reply just showed her opinion.I think instead he must have accepted someone,I mean a girl who has overtures towards him,that would have been better because he believes in reciprocation…this is a more satisfying case & reciprocating to such a girl with overtures or good compatibility will not be difficult for him too…hating someone reveals one mindset only.Your friend should learn to accept rejection.It will look strange if he himself cannot accept someone who accepts him and finds him worthy.

    Abhijeet Acharya

    April 25, 2010 at 11:55 am

  41. First of all, the ‘friend’ here needs to understand that just because he loves her , does not mean she has to reciprocate. If she didn’t he needs to accept it and MOVE ON!

    Secondly, men like these are absolutely pathetic creatures. I mean, there are such important things in life, such big problems… there’s war on every border of India, there are terrorists threatening to blast us from outside, there are politicians/God-men/etc who are eating up the country’s resources from the inside, there are millions of poor people suffering without food/toilets and shelter. And all this guy can think of is his ‘suffering’.

    Thirdly, this does not seem like LOVE, It seems more like OBSESSION with getting what HE WANTS and not appreciating the fact that the girl deserves what SHE NEEDS.

    I pity men like him. And I am very happy for the girl. Obviously she has made the right decision in rejecting him.

    Pal

    April 25, 2010 at 4:10 pm

  42. Oh, and lastly, as a Blogger, I don’t think you should have written this post and published it to the world in any case.

    f it is the personal story of two people whom you know very well, and others know them too, what sort of message are you trying to get across?

    Or atleast you could have written this as fiction and made it less personal.

    Pal

    April 25, 2010 at 4:16 pm

  43. A piece of advice to ur close friend.FORGET HER.A situation like this (unrequited love) is not something unusual or unheard of.Why this compulsion that she needs to understand him?Even she could not be blamed.All women are not same.Different reactions can be expected.Your friend should opt for another woman and stop pursuing this girl.There is no need to make this real story fictional as certain reader has pointed out.Do not distort fact.No doubt ur friend is frustrated.Always remember -“Somewhere there’s someone who dreams of your smile,And finds in your presence that life is worth while,So when you are lonely, remember it’s true: Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you.”Make the right search and then u will get it,that’s it!

    Prateek Seshadri

    May 7, 2010 at 12:03 pm

  44. Is it so easy to understand another human being?I don’t think so.Reading others mind won’t help :).Human being is very complicated by nature.Your pal expressed that very difficulty by saying-But now I hate her!Reciprocation can be expected from a person,it is a natural urge.What makes one human being understand another human being so perfectly?Your very close friend has to find out!

    Saundarya Hemant

    August 8, 2010 at 3:19 pm

  45. Great story!!!But not in a Bollywood movie style.This is a real life story of an Indian woman, man.Just wake up!

    @Your comments:-
    1)Oh come on, why will he approach a ‘married woman’..?? Now that was one stupid suggestion.

    ->Is he very much frightened of that female’s husband ? ha,ha,ha.

    2)My friend never forced a thing onto that girl. Never.He did not force the girl to come along with him.

    ->Unbelievable thing.Tell your friend to try his luck on all Western women. (seeda haath me aa jaayegi) , I mean no need of any forcing!!! he,he,he.You can also try that and see!
    Nice then to read a great Hollywood movie story here!!!

    Mrs.Gandhi

    May 28, 2011 at 9:33 pm

  46. What’s Going down i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve
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    Makaronik

    August 28, 2013 at 12:21 pm


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