Cult of the Office
There is a dark cult. A very secret yet widely known one 
It is the cult of the office. And believe me, all of us who are working, are a part of the brother hood of this cult.
Below mentioned are some of the observations made by me since I joined this cult -
Never fight over an issue with your boss. You will lose much more than the issue.
Worst thing to receive in your mail is Please Do the Needful. No matter how important things you are doing, if a CC has been sent to someone higher than your boss, then you will have it. Just imagine getting Please Do Then Needful, first thing on Monday morning.
If you try to be a hero by doing everything, you will officially have to do everything.
No matter how much you like what you do. You would always love your Saturdays (Or Fridays for those of you who are luckier).
Never be too honest. Straight trees are cut first. You must not lie. But you must understand when and where you should compartmentalize the information you have.
If you really want to do something, you need to have intentions for the same. Intentions really do shape the reality. And this approach goes much beyond the office life too.
In Sarkaar Raaj, Abhishek Bachchan did say some really smart dialogues like –
“Mujhe Koshish Nahi, Nateeje Chahiye.”
“Yahaan galti pehli nahi, aakhiri baar hoti hai.”
Boy….he does talk like our boss…isn’t it?
No matter, who you are. No matter, where you are. & no matter what your job is – one day, you will, feel really fu**** up.
You should never discuss a raise until you’ve had your review. Never. Or you will definitely end up getting a bad review.
When there is a large assignment to be handled by your department and your boss tells you that “We are going to handle this”; then beware…it is you who is going to handle it.
“You have done a great job” – whenever you hear this…more work is about to come your way…run!!
When your boss says that “Let’s call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now and shall force my decisions on you later.”
Now one thing is really very important. A lot depends on your reputation. And you should really guard it with everything. Your reputation is everything. People have expectations in accordance with the reputation you have. So if you want to survive and move up the ladder, never associate with a losing cause and build yourself a solid reputation.
To show your power, you should try and make other people come to you and whenever you take some decisions, try to take them on your territory. This is one of the most commonly used tactics of people who know how to display their power.
There are times when you are not at your workplace. You should try to use this absence to increase your respect and honor. How to do this? …try being a bit evil
Never appear too perfect. Or people will try their level best to make you appear less perfect.
Make your victims feel smarter than you are. Keep building pressure on them and simultaneously show them a way out. That ways you will act like a shepherd and still get things done. [I seem to be turning into a devil]
Think as you like, behave as others like.
[Disclaimer : Please understand, that this post in no way, reflects the way I operate at my workplace. I am seriously not a person like my post make me seem. But these are some of the very practical real life lessons, which I have learnt while working with a variety of people at my workplace.]
i must say each word of this post is true..
and we sister’s are there too in this b(r)otherhood..
i have already written much about my office and the bosses…
oorja
July 7, 2009 at 12:29 pm
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Posts about abhishek bachchan as of July 7, 2009 : MovieSutra
July 7, 2009 at 3:24 pm
cant relate much to these as my work and workplace are totally different from an office environment.
Reema
July 7, 2009 at 7:37 pm
I have a history with this images … this happened to be my dp in cyber world for some time … its so devilish yet cool
Harsh
July 7, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Boy!!! Where do you get all this gyaan
sakhi
July 8, 2009 at 9:19 am
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Reema
July 8, 2009 at 7:33 pm
That is very very true. After being 3 years in IT, I have understood it that its a thankless job. Your company will royally f*ck you irrespective of whether you are good or not.
Its like being in an earthquake. Your own house can fall on you.
amit
July 8, 2009 at 8:04 pm
@oorja
Welcome to the brotherhood lady!!
@Reema
Lucky you
@Harsh
Yup…the image is amazingly devilish. Just thought that it could very well symbolize our bosses.
@sakhi
from my office [innocence drips from me]
@amit
“Its like being in an earthquake. Your own house can fall on you.”
Interesting…you being judged at your work is independent of how good or bad you are.
Dev
July 9, 2009 at 9:37 am
Haha! Good one!
You forgot to mention the intricacies of being initiated into this cult..!!
Nikhil
July 9, 2009 at 3:06 pm
haha so apt, ironic and true! i really relate to a lot to your observations about work.
sulz
July 9, 2009 at 8:04 pm
@Nikhil
Man…my bosses will kill me for not letting them in our brotherhood.
@sulz
Dev
July 11, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Good buddy u have learned a lot in very less span of time.
One Thing u forgot, i think i should complete
Never do the task until it becomes a bigger problem, if u solve the bigger problem u will be recogized otherwise no one remember u.
Geete
July 11, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Things couldn’t be more realistic than this
Good one!
scorpria
July 14, 2009 at 12:29 pm
hey who is this devil….
u r lucky to get this gyaan ..so early
liked the post…
vikass
July 15, 2009 at 10:49 pm
This post reminds me of something, “treading into places where even the angels fear to tread”, here its the Boss room. Not for fear of him as a person, but the baggage of works that come out alongwith as a parcel by him as a boss.
I just came out of My boss’ room now. And damn!! my “to do” list for the day is filled. And all of which comprises of what he has to be doing rather than me.
All the “needful” actions do take up the whole time in office. lol
The worst official thing for me… Refer the refered files and notesheets (most of which are older than me in years
)
Nice Post dude!!!
len
August 7, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Oh my God!! that pic scared me big time!!
Neha Kapoor
August 16, 2009 at 3:00 am
Bang On!
… i wish the pic was a little less scary 
… in a nutshell, you ROCK !
shazia
August 30, 2009 at 10:46 am
wow.. now i know what my team feels of me.. coz i pretty much feel the same about my boss..
DPR
October 5, 2009 at 4:06 pm